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Post by devilsneighbour668 on May 17, 2006 17:22:26 GMT
Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly? A: So blind people could laugh at them too!
Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.
Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again." The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?" The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.
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Post by AlexTheRed on May 18, 2006 19:32:12 GMT
HERE'S ONE: ARSENAL CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE!!!
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Post by Busby Boy on May 18, 2006 22:38:17 GMT
HERES ANOTHER TWO:
Henry: World's best! and...
LEHMANN!
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Post by devilsneighbour668 on May 19, 2006 9:44:55 GMT
Harsh but fair! Can i use the 3 pin plug one again now they lost the final?!
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Post by rewdie on Jun 15, 2006 22:50:20 GMT
ARSENAL F.C. END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE
Starter Egg on Face Seasoned Hash Frogs legs (past their best) Spanish Surprise (well beaten)
Main course Humble Pie Chump Chops French (has) Beans Manager's Beef (not rare) Catch of the Day - big lemon Sol (gutted) NB: everything is imported, nothing is home grown.
Dessert Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow) Fruitless Tarts Raspberry Fools Hard Cheese
Drinks Bitter Little Spirit French Whine Cabernet Empty 2006 Champagne - sorry none ordered STRICTLY NO DOUBLES OR TREBLES
NB: drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year.
Guest speaker: Sir Alex Ferguson - "What it's like to win the European Cup"
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Post by im rooney in disguise on Jun 20, 2006 10:28:17 GMT
whats red and white and goes beep beep beep?
arsenals open bus parking in the garage
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Post by Carlito's Way on Jun 22, 2006 16:49:27 GMT
arsenal..lol
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Post by rewdie on Jun 23, 2006 13:34:03 GMT
Arsene Whinger, best manager in the prem
LOL
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Post by Keano's Lovechild on Jul 14, 2006 0:51:48 GMT
The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Three football fans in a pub. One of them sees a twenty pound note in the fish tank. The landlord tells them that anyone who gets it out before the piranha eats their hand gets to keep it. The Chelski Rentboy puts his hand in and the piranha bites off two of his fingers. The second whos a West Ham fan waits until the fish looks the other way and then puts his hand in, he pulls it out with his left hand missing. Arsenal fan puts his hand in and pulls out the twenty. The landlord ask how he managed it and Arsenal fan shows him his hand where tattooed across his knucles is" ARSENAL 2007 European Champions". The landlord says " I UNDERSTAND NOW,NOT EVEN A F*****G PIRANHA WILL SWALLOW THAT LOAD OF SHIT
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molonono1
United Youth Teamer
my name is roy.what's yours?
Posts: 45
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Post by molonono1 on Aug 19, 2006 20:48:20 GMT
legend
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redseven
United Reserve Player
you wanna mess with me?
Posts: 316
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Post by redseven on Aug 19, 2006 23:18:57 GMT
'i cannot commént errrrrrrrrr becoze i er, did not zee ze inzedent you iz er talkíng abut,ze dugout here in ze bland new emrates stadia is fery similar to ze one at HighBrie errrrrr,the iz errrr good player......he iz very fit and as you englishhhh say healthy! i can vouch as errrr me and ze young theo had a night e passíón in ze capital of culture, Paris.'
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Post by missunited on Aug 25, 2006 10:21:46 GMT
Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal ?? It saves time.
Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet ?? So they know which end to wipe.
Why do Arsenal men like smart women ?? Opposites attract.
Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in an Arsenal strip? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarassment.
Did you hear the one about the kid who asked for a cowboy outfit for Christmas ?? His Dad got him an Arsenal kit.
What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain ?? Gifted.
Q. What is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsen*l player, surname George? A. One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.
Q. What is the difference between Jon Pertwee and Ray Parlour? A. Ray Parlour still looks like Worzel Gummidge.
Q. At Highb*ry, what is the difference between the words 'disciplinary' and 'football'? A. 'Disciplinary' is the only one associated with the word 'action'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day Tom Thumb, Snow White, and Quasimodo are sitting around talking. All of the sudden Tom Thumb says, "You know, how do I know I'm the world's smallest man? Maybe I'm NOT the world's smallest man". And he got very depressed. Then Snow White says, "How do I know I'm the most beautiful woman in the world? Perhaps there is someone more beautiful than me!" And she got very depressed. Quasimodo then said, 'How do I know I'm the world's ugliest person? Maybe there is someone uglier than me!" And he, too, sank into depression. One week later the three were all killed in a car crash. While in Heaven's waiting room, they were all entitled to a private conference with God, who would answer for them one question. After Tom Thumb's conference, he came out smiling and said, "It's all right, I am the world's smallest man". Snow White left God's chamber smiling also, "It's ok," she said, "I am the fairest of them all". Quasimodo came out of his conference scratching his head. He looked at the others and asked, "Who the hell is Martin Keown?"
A Spurs fan, a Watford fan and a Scum fan came across a nude, dead woman in the street. They called the police and then, for decency, decided to cover her up. The Spurs fan put his cap over one breast, the Watford fan put his cap over the other, and the Gooner put his cap "down below". When the police arrived they needed to examine the body. The policeman lifted the Spurs cap and looked at one breast, then he lifted the Watford cap and examined the other. He then walked away from the body. The Spurs fan said: "Aren't you going to examine "down below?" "Nope", The copper replied, "I already know that under every Arsenal cap is a cunt!"
Arsene Wenger was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. He phoned her up and said "what the fuck's going on? I waited for Two hours in the cold." She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished". "Why?" He asked. She replied "One of my friends said you are a Paedophile." "A Paedophile?" cried Wenger, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!!"
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