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Post by ScholesEvilTwin on Jan 14, 2010 21:41:02 GMT
Boy is walking along the street and a car pulls up. Man in the car says to him "I'll give you £10 and a bag of sweets if you get in the car."
Boy replies "no way!"
Man says "£50 and a bag of sweets?"
Boy replies "leave me alone!"
Man says "£100 and a bag of sweets?!"
Boy yells "Fuck off dad! i'm not going to anfield to watch that shit!"
Q. What have Reading and fairy liquid got in common?
A. They both remove the scum from cups.
Q. Whats the favourite hobby at the Anfield library?
A. Reading....
;D
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farredranger
United Youth Teamer
I said out Glazer!!!plg%%Roy Keane %%
Posts: 129
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Post by farredranger on Jan 15, 2010 9:16:42 GMT
love the bag of sweets one!  Whats the difference between J.K. Rowling and Raffa Benitez? J.K.Rowling came up with a few titles. |
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Post by ScholesEvilTwin on Jan 16, 2010 1:40:47 GMT
Liverpool home matches have been moved from sky sports to the gay adult channel.
Apparently, the sight of 11 arseholes being hammered for 90 minutes was far too explicit for sky sports
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peejay80
United Starting XI
100%
LUHGplg%%Rooney%%
Posts: 1,592
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Post by peejay80 on Jan 17, 2010 11:40:03 GMT
Rafa Benitez was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “no way you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask me to sort it out!”
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peejay80
United Starting XI
100%
LUHGplg%%Rooney%%
Posts: 1,592
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Post by peejay80 on Jan 17, 2010 11:40:25 GMT
Two boys are playing football in the park when one of them is attacked by a rottweiler. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog’s collar and twists it, breaking the dog’s neck. All the while, a newspaper reporter who was taking a stroll through the park is watching. He rushes over, introduces himself and takes out his pad and pencil to start his story for the next edition.
He writes, “Manchester City fan saves friend from vicious animal.”
The boy interrupts: “But I’m not a City fan.”
The reporter starts again: “Manchester United fan saves friend from horrific attack.”
The boy interrupts again: “I’m not a United fan either.”
The reporter asks: “Who do you support, then?”
“Liverpool,” replies the boy.
The headline the next day: “Scouse b*****d kills family pet”
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Post by ScholesEvilTwin on Jan 18, 2010 21:31:11 GMT
This is a charity appeal in aid of the terrible events of saturday. Shocked, devastated, crushed, no hope, no money, no future, everything gone, nothing left, no one can help - its a disaster. Please send what you can to: LFC Anfield Formerly a big club appeal. Or to |
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derfel
United Youth Teamer
Posts: 238
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Post by derfel on Jan 19, 2010 12:49:19 GMT
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