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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2011 17:50:28 GMT
Manchester City have sold Shaun Wright-Phillips............ to Madonna.
Manchester City have officially bid £45m for Raoul Moat tonight.
They've no idea who he is, but they've heard everyone's after him.
After years of seeking for him, America has finally offered $100,000,000 for Bin Laden.
Man City have subsequently offered $105,000,000
Following the recent arguments between the Man City players, James Milner insisted today: "We are united."
Unbelievable. 65 grand a week and he doesn't even know which team he plays for.
Just bought a Liverpool FC advent calendar. Fucking typical, all the windows are boarded up and some cunts nicked all the fucking chocolate.
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Post by ScholesEvilTwin on Dec 15, 2011 18:02:43 GMT
Tevez and Rafa Benitez are widely rumoured to sign for the PSG.The board it seems have decided to name the season review DVD as 'Waiter and the Traitor'.
"Watching Chelsea vs Man City is a lot like watching a Playstation game" I said to my girlfriend.
"Fifa?" She replied.
"No" I said, "Mercenaries".
On saturday night we watched el classico, On monday night its el cashico.
Newcastle's Cheick Tiote sees shaman to cure knee problem.
When asked if it worked he said, "Knees are good, knees are good, He said my knees are good."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2011 0:12:47 GMT
If you see a scouser riding a bike why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike.
A man was walking down the street when he noticed a snarling pitbull racing towards a child. He leaped up, raced over to the child and wrestled the dog to the ground. After a tussle he managed to break the dogs neck, killing it and saving the child. A local reporter had seen this whole incident unfold, he raced over to the man, and exclaimed "You are a hero! You saved that poor childs life. I can see the headline now "Local man saves child from rabid dog"" "Great" said the man, "Tanks for tat like"; the reporter noticed the man was wearing a Liverpool jersey under his coat. "Oh, you're a Liverpool fan?" Asked the reporter "Yeah" replied the man. "Oh well, that's ok" replied the reporter. The next day the man raced out to buy the local paper, and read the headline "Dirty scouse bastard kills loving family pet"
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
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Post by 7even on Dec 29, 2011 17:51:22 GMT
The third one ;D
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Post by leighred99 on Jan 5, 2012 20:04:23 GMT
the third joke brilliant!!!! |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2012 20:50:23 GMT
The FA have issued a new directive. Any liverpool player passing the ball to andy carroll will be booked for time wasting.
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Post by Bestie on Jan 11, 2012 21:10:04 GMT
BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Nicked.
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