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Post by carlyluvsunited on May 2, 2007 7:34:41 GMT
Nemanja Vidic can leap tall buildings with a single bound. Nemanja Vidic catches speeding bullets between his teeth - quite handy considering where he comes from. Nemanaja Vidic was once under attack from a huge octopus 10 feet across - instead of dying he simply asked the octopus what the time was - as the octopus looked at all 8 of his watches Nemanja fucked the mother up !!!! Iraq never had a real weapon of mass destruction - Nemanja Vidic was just visiting and that confused Blair/Bush. Nemanja Vidic is so fast that when he goes to bed he switches off the light in his room and he is in bed before the room goes dark !!! Nemanja vidic is so scary that on the very rare occasions he does cry - the tears run off down the back of his head. Nemanja Vidic is so tough he makes onions cry. Errrrrrrrr.......... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... I tried  |
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Post by RedArmy20 on May 2, 2007 8:01:41 GMT
hahaha...not bad not bad at all...
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bojan
United School Boy
Posts: 2
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Post by bojan on May 2, 2007 10:39:12 GMT
very funny
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Post by Vidic>Superman on May 2, 2007 18:11:09 GMT
Nemanja Vidic is so fast that when he goes to bed he switches off the light in his room and he is in bed before the room goes dark !!!  haha! |
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Post by Rais.n.Hell on May 4, 2007 5:20:32 GMT
Iraq never had a real weapon of mass destruction - Nemanja Vidic was just visiting and that confused Blair/Bush. Love it!! |
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Post by Imy on May 4, 2007 11:17:41 GMT
Guns don't kill people. Nemanja Vidic kills People.
Nemanja Vidic does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself.
Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
There are no races, only countries of people Nemanja Vidic has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Nemanja Vidic has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.
Nemanja Vidic played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
In a 50-50 challenge, Nemanja Vidic would win 150-nil.
Nemanja Vidic does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
Nemanja Vidic recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Nemanja Vidic once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Nemanja Vidic hates The Beatles; two to go.
Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.
When Nemanja Vidic exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Nemanja Vidic's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Nemanja Vidic beat the hair off Chuck Norris' chest.
Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Nemanja Vidic once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't close players down, they are drawn to his legs by the force of gravity.
When Nemanja Vidic Runs he stays still the Earth moves under his feet like a treadmill
One of the new quadrants caught on fire last week after Nemanja fixed it a glare.
Stupid tackles don't break peoples legs, Nemanja Vidic does.
Nemaja Vidic once woke up in a foul mood. The result was the Yugoslav wars.
Vidic once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Fergie didn't drop Darren Fletcher, Nemanja Vidic dropped Darren Fletcher.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't mark players, he permanently stamps them.
Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't head the ball away, the ball heads the other way.
Wes Brown isn't injured - Nemanja Vidic mistook him for a jaffa cake.
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Post by Chris on May 4, 2007 13:20:43 GMT
Bloody hell, thats a long list of things that Vidic can do. Not one im surprised at.
Good job. Score!
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Post by RedArmy20 on May 4, 2007 14:06:51 GMT
Bloody hell, thats a long list of things that Vidic can do. Not one im surprised at. Good job. Score! that has already been posted a long time ago in the vida thread... |
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Post by Chris on May 4, 2007 15:14:32 GMT
Bloody hell, thats a long list of things that Vidic can do. Not one im surprised at. Good job. Score! that has already been posted a long time ago in the vida thread... Oh dear. DIVE. |
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Post by Suprah™ on May 5, 2007 19:54:58 GMT
Is it just me of have these jokes been taken from the ones about Chuck Norris ? |
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Post by Rais.n.Hell on May 5, 2007 22:50:56 GMT
Is it just me of have these jokes been taken from the ones about Chuck Norris ? Actually they have been...BUT!....as you know Everyone is scared of God, and God is scared of Norris....and Chuck Norris is scared of Vidic, so we thought Vida has the right to have all these and many new ones attributed to him. |
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Post by Chris on May 6, 2007 11:13:48 GMT
1 or 2 are ones that I have made up along with 1 or 2 from the bbc 606 page.
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Post by 9tilesofgiggs on Jun 1, 2007 8:27:39 GMT
When Nemanja Vidic does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
The chief export of Nemanja Vidic is Pain.
If you beat a team containing Nemanja Vidic in Pro Evo it will cause your PS2 to blow up.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Nemanja Vidic could use to kill you - including the room itself.
Nemanja Vidic once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For
Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Nemanja Vidic grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Nemanja Vidic once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.
Nemanja Vidic played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Nemanja Vidic puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Nemanja Vidic hates The Beatles; two to go.
Nemanja Vidic crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.
Nemanja Vidic died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Nemaja Vidic once woke up in a foul mood. The result was the Yugoslav wars.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Vidic once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either
Fergie didn't drop Darren Fletcher, Nemanja Vidic dropped Darren Fletcher.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't mark players, he permanently stamps them.
Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't head the ball away, the ball heads the other way.
Nemanja Vidic can slam revolving doors. The 'big bang' was a Nemanja Vidic tackle
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Post by 9tilesofgiggs on Jun 1, 2007 8:29:04 GMT
Chris One Question, Where did you get these from?
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Post by Vidic>Superman on Jun 1, 2007 8:53:05 GMT
Nemanja Vidic once turned up for training late - Fergie fined the rest of the team for being early. Haha ! |
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