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Post by ay23 on Jun 10, 2007 13:31:06 GMT
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Post by theresonly1united on Jun 10, 2007 16:28:47 GMT
These are brilliant!!! Keep em' coming!!  Veni Vidi Vidic He came He saw He kicked their fucking heads in |
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Post by ay23 on Jun 11, 2007 15:48:45 GMT
After racking my brain thoroughly, I have finally got some!
Nemanja Vidic once had sex with a Jewish girl. The result was Baby Jesus.
Contrary to popular belief, the extinction of dinosaurs wasn't brought about by a comet but Nemanja Vidic.
Nemanja Vidic once killed a German. His name was Hitler.
Nemanja Vidic doesn't see why people make such a big deal out of the Sixth Sense. Nemanja Vidic sees dead people all the time.
Nemanja Vidic once got shot five times. In fact, he does it evey day. He doesn't know why people have to make rap songs about it.
Nemanja Vidic once killed death.
The Big Bang is in fact the term given to the birthdate of Nemanja Vidic.
Nemanja Vidic once stood in a pool of red-hot larva. He got a tan.
Muhammad Ali says that Nemanja Vidic is his hero.
Nemanja Vidic once got shot in the head. He got a headache.
A guy once smiled at Nemanja Vidic. Nemanja Vidic made sure that he would have no teeth to smile at him again.
During a United game, Drogba fell to the floor clutching his face. Nemanja Vidic stamped on it. He made sure that he would have a reason to clutch his face next time.
Nemanja Vidic once went into a mental asylum. The doctors started treating him.
In the USSR, everyone was equal, except for Vidic.
Nemanja Vidic broke his back once. He thought he had pins-and-needles.
Hope you enjoy!
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Post by Vidic>Superman on Jun 11, 2007 17:41:44 GMT
Haha, nice one!
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lotzita
United Reserve Player
Keep us at the top where we belong!
Posts: 389
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Post by lotzita on Jun 11, 2007 19:53:44 GMT
Great I'm a big fan of the Vidic' jokes |
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Post by Dan_Utd on Jul 17, 2007 5:37:06 GMT
Nemja Vidic has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Nemanja Vidic and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Nemanja Vidic refers to sex as core training.
If Nemanja Vidic was a Spartan, the years hit movie would have been called "The One", and ended with him walking back to Sparta for tea.
Nemanja Vidic is the only thing a black hole can’t suck in.
There were WMD's in Iraq, unfortunately for Bush, Nemanja was only on vacation and left before the US army found him.
It's said Hitler killed over a million people, Nemanja Vidic's calls that a slow week.
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Post by Vidic>Superman on Jul 17, 2007 6:32:59 GMT
Haha!
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Post by RedArmy20 on Jul 17, 2007 10:19:24 GMT
BRILLIANT! |
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lotzita
United Reserve Player
Keep us at the top where we belong!
Posts: 389
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Post by lotzita on Jul 17, 2007 16:28:07 GMT
Great |
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Post by Rais.n.Hell on Jul 18, 2007 1:27:00 GMT
Nicely done Dan!! Brilliant one about WMDs and Handicapped spaces! #thumb#
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Post by RedArmy20 on Jul 18, 2007 2:44:49 GMT
Vidic once played football manager and as soon as he got an eye of himself in the game he won it all by the formation of 1-0-0. then he got bored and kicked drogba in the nuts. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Nemanja Vidic has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Nemanja Vidic, each testicle is larger than the other one. Nemanja Vidic once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Nemanja Vidic can slam revolving doors. Nemanja Vidic counted to infinity - twice. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Nemanja Vidic can piss his name Into concrete. Nemanja Vidic is always on top during sex because Nemanja Vidic never f***s up. Nemanja Vidic doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." Nemanja Vidic can kill two stones with one bird. The only time Nemanja Vidic was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. Nemanja Vidic has admitted he took time to settle in at Manchester United as his style of play was too 'strong' for English football. Nemanja Vidic has officially be declared the greatest player the world has ever seen. The poll took place amongst former professionals and Vidic was the run-away winner, with 100% of the final vote in his favour. However, while God is a friend of Kaka, he is afraid of Nemanja Vidic. Quite frankly the man is a colossus and it is no wonder the big man upstairs is afraid of the big man who keeps attackers around the world from having a good nights sleep. Power in the air and power in the tackle, as well as the highest skill levels of any player I have ever seen. There really is no player that has ever played on God's green earth that has been better than Nemanja Vidic, and really it is impossible to predict when anyone better will come along until the big mans son is old enough to jog out onto the pitch. ---- some may have posted before, but some i came up with my self   |
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Post by Vidic>Superman on Jul 18, 2007 6:48:26 GMT
Nemanja Vidic counted to infinity - twice. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Nemanja Vidic can piss his name Into concrete. Nemanja Vidic doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." Hahaha! |
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Post by theresonly1united on Jul 18, 2007 12:46:58 GMT
LOL.
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richeh
United Youth Teamer
Posts: 77
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Post by richeh on Jul 23, 2007 23:35:11 GMT
vidic does not use a plane, the plane use's him.
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lotzita
United Reserve Player
Keep us at the top where we belong!
Posts: 389
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Post by lotzita on Jul 24, 2007 20:20:39 GMT
At the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Vidic defeats both Potter and Voldemort. It's the surprising plot.
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