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United School Boy
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Post by . on Jul 6, 2016 16:51:10 GMT
Over on the Summer Transfers thread, Bestie needed comforting and cheering up regarding Mikhitaryan's immanent transfer. (see image) Rustin Cohle provided just that. I propose this as a new thread wherein we make requests to Rustin, or explain some issue we're having, and he puts a positive spin on it for us. I'll go first. Dear Rustin: I am very sad over the idea that Mata will be sold, especially to Everton. Has everyone forgotten his goals against the Scousers? Yours truly, H.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 16:54:05 GMT
Dear Rustin, it burns when I pee.
Kind Regards,
Erm...Anonymous.
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United School Boy
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Post by . on Jul 6, 2016 17:09:38 GMT
This can also be General Advice from Rustin, too. I can take a stab at your problem, @dedrevil , and suggest standing further back from the electric fence whilst having a pee.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 17:17:16 GMT
This can also be General Advice from Rustin, too. I can take a stab at your problem, @dedrevil , and suggest standing further back from the electric fence whilst having a pee. You said it was a thread to make me feel better. All you did was make me feel stupid. I wanted Rustin Cohle 's advice, not yours. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 17:19:13 GMT
This can also be General Advice from Rustin, too. I can take a stab at your problem, @dedrevil , and suggest standing further back from the electric fence whilst having a pee. You said it was a thread to make me feel better. All you did was make me feel stupid. I wanted Rustin Cohle 's advice, not yours.  |
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United School Boy
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Post by . on Jul 6, 2016 17:42:29 GMT
This can also be General Advice from Rustin, too. I can take a stab at your problem, @dedrevil , and suggest standing further back from the electric fence whilst having a pee. You said it was a thread to make me feel better. All you did was make me feel stupid. I wanted Rustin Cohle 's advice, not yours. My free advice is worth every penny! |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 18:54:29 GMT
Dear Rustin Cohle I am struggling to stop myself from boarding a plane to Paris and forcing a pair of socks onto Lee Dixon. It's not something I can afford, so anything to convince me not to would help. Love S |
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Post by king nothing on Jul 6, 2016 19:42:07 GMT
Some top comments on here today. Well done RoMers!
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Post by Rustin Cohle on Jul 7, 2016 7:40:05 GMT
Over on the Summer Transfers thread, Bestie needed comforting and cheering up regarding Mikhitaryan's immanent transfer. (see image) Rustin Cohle provided just that. I propose this as a new thread wherein we make requests to Rustin, or explain some issue we're having, and he puts a positive spin on it for us. I'll go first. Dear Rustin: I am very sad over the idea that Mata will be sold, especially to Everton. Has everyone forgotten his goals against the Scousers? Yours truly, H. Dear H, This is a tough one; I too am fearful of this eventuality. Juan Mata is a beautiful man with a beautiful beard, and his loss from this club would pierce the soul of many a United fan. However, I attempt to take solace from a few things: Jose's change in tone at his United press conference from his Chelsea years, the fact that he seems to see through Rooney (hence he may wish to keep Mata around), and the improvement in Mata's defensive output since he joined United. This answer certainly isn't as convincing as the one I gave Bestie, but in dark times it may be all we have to hold on to. Nevertheless, we must continue to hope. Lots of love, Rustin |
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Post by Rustin Cohle on Jul 7, 2016 7:41:10 GMT
Dear Rustin, it burns when I pee. Kind Regards, Erm...Anonymous. Dear Anonymous, You have Gonorrhea. Lots of love, Rustin |
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Post by Rustin Cohle on Jul 7, 2016 7:42:21 GMT
Dear Rustin Cohle I am struggling to stop myself from boarding a plane to Paris and forcing a pair of socks onto Lee Dixon. It's not something I can afford, so anything to convince me not to would help. Love S Dear S, Whilst this may not be something you can personally afford, it is something that would benefit humanity at large. I suggest you set up a Just Giving or Kickstarter page to pay for your flights and the socks. Lots of love, Rustin |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 7:43:18 GMT
Dear Rustin, it burns when I pee. Kind Regards, Erm...Anonymous. Dear Anonymous, You have Gonorrhea. Lots of love, Rustin That's just a diagnosis, it doesn't make me feel better  |
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Post by Rustin Cohle on Jul 7, 2016 7:48:31 GMT
Dear Anonymous, You have Gonorrhea. Lots of love, Rustin That's just a diagnosis, it doesn't make me feel better I think the only person that can make you feel better is a doctor. Might I suggest one personally recommended by our new manager?  |
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Post by Bestie on Jul 7, 2016 8:19:11 GMT
This thread is GENIUS. Stickied.
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Post by Rustin Cohle on Jul 7, 2016 11:44:04 GMT
Just noticed my new tagline |
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