Advice

[Daz]

Hi guys, I wouldn't ordinarily do this nor would I ordinarily want advice. My girlfriend has just come back from Tenerife with her family and rang me to say she wants to break up. I honestly don't know what to think. I'm 22 and she's 21 we go to the same Uni and have been going out for 3 years. We both have 1 year left of Uni. She's really spoilt by her step mum and dad. She got a 7 grand car for her 21st a couple of months back, got a 400 quid camera, has 10 grand her dad has saved up for her when she leaves, and a house. I'm just a lad from Salford.

She said she can't see herself getting married to me and doesn't think I'm the one anymore. I feel sick. I honestly don't condone this sort of emo behaviour or attention seeking or what have you, but I honestly feel lost. I understand shit gets better with time, I just feel really shocked. I'm not normally the guy to mope, I deal with shitty situations well. I've not been emotional, cried or text her since the initial phone call, but all of a sudden I feel like complete shit. I'd really appreciate some bro advice.

[Chris]

Her family rang you?

Fuck the bitch. Get over her quickly and move on mate. 3 year relationship and she gets a family member to end it for her? Is she really 21? Because she has the mental attitude of a 6 year old.

Better off without mate.

[reddub]

Daz, personally i'd be a bit suspicious that she suddenly rang you and told you that she wants to break up.

That's a strange one. Odd.

Hope you don't mind me asking, was everything okay between the two of you before she went away?

[tommyred]

Yep. It's hard but move on. Childish and disrespectful from her.

You can do better.

[ginger18legend]

Women - pure, fucking evil. Period.

[redcase]

Mate, you have nothing to feel ashamed of. Its okay to feel hurt, you obviously felt a great deal for this girl. But remember one thing mate, it will all pass. It will take time and effort, but it will pass, you will heal and move on. I have gone through the exact same thing as you have. It took me about a month to fully get over that girl, but in the end I did. I had a great bunch of guys around me, so my blow was softened thanks to the lads and their incessant efforts to get me drunk and forget her existence completely . Do you still want to be friends with her? I decided it would be best for me if I didn't hang around with her any more. It helped me get over her and now all these years later I look upon it as a good decision for me as I haven't really missed her friendship much either. You're 22 lad, the women will always be around, and dare I say, you still have time to get married ! Plenty of fish in the sea. Spending time with some of your good mates could be the best way for you to not feel shit about yourself. When you feel ready, get out to the pubs/clubs and exercise your right to flirt, you're single now ! And there's plenty of pussy for everybody . You'll also be finishing Uni, so time to fix out a career plan, and that always keeps you occupied. Who knows, you might meet miss right at work or at least cross paths with her !

Don't let her get the best of you mate. If she fucking rang you up and said she wants to break up with you over the phone, the bitch may have never cared about you much after all (she may be a perfectly nice person, but if she did care about you, she would have let you down in a way more dignified than over the phone), so nothing you really missed isn't it ?

[reddub]

If everything was okay between the two of them before she went away, she hasn't actually given Daz a valid reason why, or at least a truthful reason why she's decided to end it.

If that's the case, something has happened on her holiday that she's not telling him.

[Daz]

I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear, she rang me and told me she wanted to break up.

Yeah first thing I asked was she cheating on holiday or otherwise, but she said no and I believe her. The whole time we were together she was repulsed by other guys, I was the love of her life. The thing is I've done absolutely everything for her and her family, and I've passed up many opportunities with girls whilst at uni, now I feel I've wasted my time.

I'm on for a first in my degree and I've helped her with her work before now, I've done everything for her and her family. I think a massive thing for her is the fact I come from nothing or have no money at the moment whereas she is well off. But it's not been a crux before. The thing is shit like this doesn't get to me, I don't know what it is, maybe it's the initial shock. I really appreciate the help so far guys.

[redcase]

Mate, if her ending things with you is even remotely money related, be happy she's fucked off from your life. You have time to make your money now and maybe later she'll rue what she let go. On the other hand, since you mention it's not been a problem before, do you think her family might have had something to do about it? Were you on favourable terms with them? You say you have done a lot for her and her family, but did they treat you with respect or just tolerance?

[reddub]

Daz, just a personal view here but i find the fact that she's effectively rung you up out of the blue and told you she wants to break up is strange, even if she's happened to have done it returning from holiday.?

Makes no sense.

Something's happened between the start of her holiday and now. She's not told you the whole story. I smell a rat.

[Chris]

Aug 12, 2012 21:16:35 GMT Chris said:

Her family rang you?

Fuck the bitch. Get over her quickly and move on mate. 3 year relationship and she gets a family member to end it for her? Is she really 21? Because she has the mental attitude of a 6 year old.

Better off without mate.

Ah, ignore what I said about the family. Read it wrong. Sorry mate.

[Stew]

If you go out with someone for 3 years and don't even get the courtesy of a face to face meeting to split up then you are better off out of that my son. Trust me, you'll look back on it in a few years and realise you've dodged a bullet.

[Daz]

Thanks a lot for your views guys, it's helping. Yeh redcase I reckon it's to do with her family, they're so money and career orientated it's sickening. I've always resented that. I'm really close mates with her brother, but they're both spoilt beyond belief and I feel sorry for them being torn between a divorce and two polar opposites of extremem rich and her mum's rubbish job. I reckon my lack of career at the moment and her step mum and dad have fuelled this. But I don't believe money makes someone happy, as naive as that sounds because I can see it first hand. I'm just annoyed and disillusioned as I don't feel like I've done anything remotely wrong.
It's true Stew, that's how I feel, I hope it's a blessing in disguise.
Red Dub I agree she's not explaining herself fully, I want to know and at the same time I don't, you know?

[reddub]

Daz, no problem mate.

[Bestie]

I'll tell you right now, you're going to miss her. Can't prevent that, believe me. I miss the girl who could have been my complete soulmate every single day, and we didn't even break up really. Just I live here and she's from America and lives on the West Coast so it couldn't happen. The only thing I can say as advice is don't let missing her cripple you. Again, it's from experience. I have nothing but good memories of my girl, but just being without her can be crushing if you let it. Don't let it! It gets easier, time helps. Tell someone, even let yourself cry if you have to. I don't usually do waterwoks but the odd, manly tear actually works wonders.

The way it's happened does sound completely off, but without knowing either you or the girl properly I can't really comment; it does sound like you deserve a lot better though.